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funny psych ward stories

The other patient was someone with severe brain damage who had to be kept locked naked in a padded cell with access to nothing she could put in her mouth because she would continually try to eat anything. Not to visit a friend, or as research, but because I was mentally ill and a danger to myself. this guy was completely delusional and dissociated from time and location; he thought at times he was at a bowling alley and at other times he thought he had just gone shopping for shoes. It was her, all better. by Marlane Gohl September 19, 2019 September 19, 2019 1 Comment on STORIES FROM THE PSYCH WARD #11 Mirror, Mirror I’ve done some time on the psych ward, and there are a few events that stand out to me. Blow up the sky! Sign up for the Thought Catalog Weekly and get the best stories from the week to your inbox every Friday. It was stark-cold terrifying.”, “I worked as an RN in an inpatient psych unit. A 16-year-old kid was in for molesting his 3-year-old sister. “When I was doing psych clerkship as a med student, there was a schizophrenic patient with the usual signs: auditory hallucinations, disheveled appearance, no expression on his face. Or share interesting/funny stories that are topic related from others. A nurse came in and said to me, all rushed, 'Don't worry, we have everything under control, just stay in your room quietly.' They laughed and said "Oh he likes the young ones!". Also Read: Top 10 Funny Nursing Quotes to Brighten Up Your Day. Either way here are some psychiatry jokes. “I worked for a number of years a residential facility, ages 6-106 and have seen it all. I suppose this story was on more of the funnier side but at the time it really freaked me out. One that was consistently troubled was a patient with hallucinations and schizophrenia. Everyone hears stories about psychiatric hospitals and I fell for them too. After I started coming home with work stories, he gave it up. She would scream at other kids if she saw them watching YouTube videos, because she thought it was just for her. Would randomly just start screaming asking his mother to stop hitting him. The writing does an excellent job capturing the fractured thinking that paralyzes Craig and stops him from being able to get anything done. He was court ordered to be there for a period of time. Short tales from the psych ward. The one that always creeped me out the most was about a client with self-injury issues who had shoved a hollowed out pen into … I imagine some residual guilt/anger for her loss is what cause her to throat punch me for taking her doll. They should transport the guy I described between hospitals to show family members what the doctors are talking about when they say that a person should be allowed to die.”. She was very badly disfigured. One woman gave really strong and compelling answers about wanting to improve her health to be a better wife and mother (have the energy to run around and play with her kids, etc.). Dedicated to your stories and ideas. The spouse cheated after 60 years of marriage, leaving the patient homeless and heartbroken.”. Enjoy these funny psychiatry jokes and puns. She ate Styrofoam cups, plastic cutlery, plates…etc. Most older clients had a mild to moderate disability that today you would just accept as ‘slow,’ but since they had been there for so long, the facility was their home and they didn’t want to go elsewhere. “Had a dementia patient, among other things I imagine, but I was just the nursing assistant. Once the dust settled it was shared with me that she was pregnant once upon a time, and she already had a 1 year old. I didn’t get much sleep after that shift.”. Let us know in the comments! They had to tie him into his chair because he could sometimes become violent. Chemically induced psychosis, from my experience, is game over most of the time. Arms hanging down by his sides. While it’s in no way fun to be in the hospital, … Tianna wants governments to set up special psychiatric wards for teenagers and young adults, as it is "scary'' for teens to be turned away from paediatric wards … No life, no humanity. At this point, I had enough and told the nurses what happened. I sat there frozen for a few seconds before she was tackled by two security guards. She smiled, thanked me, and we said our goodbyes.”, “Young man who was suffering from drug induced psychosis. The three psych wards I’ve been in were pretty plain on the inside. Some blame them for only being after the money, others accuse them of killing people with their brutal methods. mjseu February 21, 2015, 2:25pm #1. He had in a way started to assume the identity of his little sister and he considered the girls in the pictures he cut out his friends. Top 20 funniest patient stories from nurses. I don’t get much for patient histories just whether they can walk unassisted or poo on their own. We continue talking and suddenly he says, 'You know, those hospital pajamas look really fucking sexy on you. I found out that he was raped by his father. Honestly, it depends on the day. Seriously, people, brain damage is no joke—wear your helmets, fasten your seatbelts, and for the love of God, don’t drive drunk.”, “A young man with a history of poorly managed schizophrenia who also had chronic meth-induced psychosis, or what I heard someone call ‘Methiphrenia.’. They almost succeeded. She witnessed her mother’s brutal murder at age 4 and was not found for almost a week. He later approached me and introduced himself. He couldn’t comprehend a single subject or idea for more than a couple seconds, and it was like he lived in this chaotic world that none of us had access to. Then she informed him that they can give him some medications to make the voices go away, and he immediately rebuked that option (mind you, still displaying no expression on his face the whole time). “This schizophrenic woman whose psychosis had the real-life origin of Dexter the TV character. Supposedly they had both [gone] to the kitchen to get coffee or something. She’d talked about this kid for months, in great detail, and we’d never thought to report it to her caseworker because we had no reason to doubt she was telling the truth. The guy is about 40-50 years old now, but he’s exactly like what you might imagine a lobotomized person to look like. "During lunch, I got repeatedly harassed by the bra thief (to the point where he was not allowed near me) and John would sit across from me licking his utensils while staring at me. Would also say ‘Jesus loves you’ whenever you saw him and always had a Bible. Most clients were diagnosed Autism, so you saw the typical self-injury and harmful to others. Whatever thoughts came into his mind came out of his mouth in real-time. Told us about their marriage with Jesus, how their 250 grandkids are doing, why we were getting fired and then yelling at themselves for firing us.”. The doctor believed that the young man felt like he was in safe environment for the first time in his life and his mind was allowing him to re-remember past trauma.”. Then she would talk about the baby growing inside her belly. I have seen violence and gore. He was well educated and was a sales manager in some firm. Ten years ago I spent time in a residential psychiatric ward. I always thought of that whale when I worked with this patient, it preserved my patience and empathy for him when he was displaying more negative or aggressive behaviors. Share your stories/experiences from the psych ward as a patient or staff member/doctor. We had to have 2 staff on him at all times, just to keep him from traumatizing the other kids. Most people feel relief — not anger — at being there. It’s the worst depression and suicidal ideation I’ve ever seen. She was chronically depressed. Haha I’m a mess 🤡 here are some wack stories I did in the psych ward lol Instagram- @barrett.haha Hmm...Pavlov. That name rings a bell. I noticed and said, ‘I can tuck Susan in for the night’ and reached in to get her baby. The husband and the 1 year old got in an accident on the way to the hospital, they both died. He lost his ability to ‘hear’ thoughts in his own head, and had absolutely zero impulse control. Worked with refugees. I was told she set herself on fire after losing her baby.”. I met a lot of interesting folks. 1. It got much creepier, while he was singing he was running his nails down the walls as he paced back and forth and continued singing, what made it even worse he was singing about death and demons which totally was freaking me out. I had to wait like four hours maybe, till the shift change, before I got any food and by then I was a wreck. Stories From the Psych Ward–Charlie’s Story (Teaser) I have been encouraged by the response to my little stories and character sketches inspired by my stay in the hospital. I was terrified. "In the end, before John was sent to another hospital, he cornered me and told me that I was making him so horny. A charming, surprisingly life-affirming peek at a depressed teen's stay in a psych ward. By subscribing, you agree to the terms of our Privacy Statement. From that point forward, Clyde's co-workers were way more open about putting the patients in chokeholds or headlocks in front of him -- those are one of the most common forms of physical abuse in psychiatric hospitals. The girl had somehow flung open her locked door and tackled the kid to the ground. From her head down her entire body. I have one. I would have to say a tie exists between the two most troubling patients that I encountered while doing my co-op. He’s a husk. He could be the nicest, quietest kid, or he could try and cut you with whatever was nearby and tell you that he was there because he cut his family’s dogs paws off. He said his (deceased) father was going to help him. The city I lived in had a massive shortage of beds in psych units, so we ended up getting a whole lot of kids who really belonged in inpatient care. There was this story that I read a long time ago, about a whale that lived in the ocean somewhere, who was born with an inability to make sounds at the frequency that any other whale could understand. He covered the entire spectrum of psychotic behaviors during his stay but the worst was when he would pop into reality for a moment. I had gotten her up and out of the bed to the bedside commode (bedside toilet) and while trying to get her back in bed she demanded I get my hands off of her, she took a step back away from me, ripped off her gown and was completely naked, grabbed the commode and started attempting to swing it at me while accusing me of making racial slurs towards her. The woman throat punched me hard. One full moon, and anyone who’s ever worked in a psychiatric facility knows what I’m talking about with full moons, she decided to pluck one of her eyes out with a plastic spoon she palmed from a tray on the way to the bathroom, despite her restraints and that two PRN attendants wheeled her down. But it would all abruptly end and start over once her baby was due and there was no new baby. Again, cue nervous laughter. This screenshot of Freud's Tinder profile. He told me his father had found a camper and put it at a lake and he would be living there until he graduated. He abruptly stopped screaming and went dead silent with huge eyes… looking directly at something behind me. I never expected the delusions to have back stories. I don’t mean ‘couldn’t help himself from eating a second cookie.’—I mean zero. We had one girl who was trying to manage her depression/anxiety and be a better parent to her 2-year-old. She was so distraught over it she gave the newborn up for adoption. Submit your writing to be published on Thought Catalog. While those who stay in psych wards can have any number of debilitating issues, or can even be put there unjustly, the way these places are managed and run can be the stuff of nightmares. BuzzFeed News Reporter . It is incredibly unsettling hearing somebody shuffle into your room and scribble on a notepad, especially when you are already a paranoid schizophrenic. The first one had no pictures on the walls, and the second had about three abstract paintings, and 2 illustrations that reminded me of the Silence Of The Lambs movie poster (eerie, I know). But my daughter is safe and warm inside the adolescent psych ward. And all he does is pace up and down whatever room his is in, all day and all night, until he collapses asleep after about 4-5 days sleeps 12 hours, wakes up and resumes pacing. Houses are dusted with new snow, and arctic temperatures are expected by nightfall. Never had been. When I first started working there I just thought she was some fun old delusional lady. Do you have any funny stories from a psych ward. Another child, maybe 6, severely burned by a family member with a blowtorch. Another kid, completed his whole program and set to go home. Treatment was talking with patients, reading to them and taking long walks. He was in his early 30s, and it’s likely he’ll be in institutions for the rest of his life, partly because of years of bad decisions, and partly because of the hand he was dealt. He was from South America and kept babbling in Spanish about demons coming to get him, and I barely understand Spanish so there wasn’t much I could do to calm him down. Psychiatry Jokes and Puns. “I have spent time inside a few different psychiatric facilities. He would mutilate himself for sexual pleasure. He would look at me and tell me how she beat him with chains and belts. In October 2019, I spent two weeks in a psychiatric ward. Always a kind word for anyone and happy to listen. It’s heartbreaking…Dementia seems horrifying enough when its described as ‘being confused, or losing your mind,’ but it seems so much worse when it’s, ‘repeat your worst life experience over and over until you die.’…To constantly be stuck in the time leading up to your most traumatic experience and reliving it over and over…the very definition of hell in my opinion.”, “Not specifically at a psychiatric ward but had a patient at the hospital with severe dementia. “I was in a juvenile psych unit. I lost my virginity in a Mental Hospital. From hilariously misinformed patients to doctors with a wickedly dry sense of humor, we at Bored Panda had compiled a list of short stories when doctor/patient interactions were just too funny. The kicker is, this isn’t the first time he has been hospitalized for this. Broken humans that don’t work anymore and nobody knows what to do with them. Every now and then she would get up from the computer and start taking all of her clothes off or smearing her lipstick on her face. We made brief eye contact and I went back to reading. “Guy from what appeared to be a severely repressive rural background who would randomly yell out confessions about his emotions and urges related to pedophilia/bestiality/homosexuality/incest. He was a court-appointed commitment, as he was far too dangerous to walk the streets and too far gone to take part in any sort of rehab or social program. “I had a kid once that kept freaking out during the night shift. a small percentage of alcoholics get Korsakoff’s. I'm still not completely sure where they were during all of it. I looked down and saw that he had given me my bra back all neatly folded. Two things become clear when I … While those who stay in psych wards can have any number of debilitating issues, or can even be put there unjustly, the way these places are managed and run can be the stuff of nightmares. The look of sheer terror in his face and the shaky voice have stuck with me. Terry loved to wear little girls’ clothing and would have pictures of little girls that he had cut out of magazines on a string around his neck. Staff in psych wards/institutions get a bad rap, but honestly, they wouldn’t put up with the kind of stuff they have to for the amount that they get paid if they didn’t feel a calling to be there. He was pretty low functioning so it was really hard to process. See more ideas about creepy, creepy stories, ghost stories. By then we would be frantically looking for her, and suddenly an angry cabby shows up ranting about payment. In one of my psych ward experiences, a nurse refused to feed me even after I told her I had hypoglycemia, a low blood sugar condition where all kinds of nasty things happened if I got too hungry. He then proceeded to tell me that he thought I was very hot and had to masturbate to the thought of me right afterwards and would do the same later. Learn about us. Anyone who can’t understand why doctors give up trying to resuscitate after a certain point where irreversible brain damage has occurred have not seen real brain damage. At home, he had beat up the family cat to the point of its bones breaking because he liked the sounds the cat made. My earliest memories of psychiatric nursing were the stories that my mother told me of being a psychiatric nurse at Waterbury State Hospital in Vermont in the depression. I was actually thrilled to see that happen. They then locked her in one of the 'quiet rooms,' a padded cell with a circular window, which was right across the hall from me, where she spent the rest of the night kicking at the door and yelling threats.". We also have other funny jokes categories. One of those cases that sounds funny on paper, but is absolutely gut-wrenching to watch. After that, they kept him in hotel rooms with a rotating cast of social workers and youth workers to provide 1-to-1 supervision. He cannot eat by himself, he cannot do anything by himself, the only verbal noise/speech he produces is a loud ‘GU-GU-GU-GU-GU-GU-GU-GU’ like a propeller engine starting up. "I was a bit freaked out, brushed it off with a nervous laugh and changed subjects. When the resident asked him ‘Why?,’ he replied, ‘They are my only friends.’, “Kid that was completely dissociative. There were staff on hand to help and guide you, activities to keep you busy during the day and opportunities for relaxation. He stayed for over a month with no signs of remission. I didn't know about it until an expatient that was visiting the ward asked me why I was washing my own clothes. This patient had been staring through my room window repeatedly, would say hi (and run away), and had plucked my hair out during breakfast. He never smiles, never frowns, give no indication of any aspiration or want. And that was not the only animal. “I did A mental health co-op in high school. Well, about a minute later security comes running in the room and busts out laughing as he seems a butt-naked little old lady trying to corner me while swinging a commode at me.”. Anybody opposed to euthanasia hasn’t seen real brain damage. Hopefully someday they’ll find a way to break through, or bring him out.”. He could become physically aggressive at the drop of a hat for no perceived reason, or he could sit in a corner, crying and yelling that he was a good boy and he didn’t need any of ‘this.’ Even the most seasoned staff members wouldn’t enter a room alone with him. That’s why her delusions start over after the due date and she is so mad in between. It was the beginning of the end for my career working in psych. I later learned from the dentist I had worked with that Terry had witnessed his little sister being brutally raped and murdered by their stepfather when they were children. Unfortunately, they don’t seem to make interior design a priority. I was mistaken – it couldn’t have been further from the truth. I honestly felt horrible for him because he said he has been struggling with this since he was a kid. "We got talking and things seemed normal until he said he saw me when I was admitted the previous night. “I worked on a juvenile psych unit. She saw a staff member’s legs on the floor, halfway out the doorway.When she looked i… Had another patient who cycled through almost 100 foster homes in their youth. Subscribe. Had a client shove a metal jagged end of a broomstick that he snapped in half right into his abdomen then start screaming and digging into it with his fingers. Of course, it wasn’t the cutting his arm or legs kind of mutilation. The few child fetish … He would have to mutilate his genitals for sexual pleasure. There was no spark of anything in that 9-year-old’s eyes. His family broke down during visitation and only his father could manage weekly visits afterwards. He had raped a younger sister with some of his toys. The things she would scream when actively psychotic were truly some of the saddest, most terrible things I have ever heard. The one that sticks with me the most is the patient who was married to their spouse for over 60 years. She could be pretty lucid on good days, and had a real affinity for flowers. After a couple seconds of listening to them wrestle around on the floor, I finally heard the nurses come running to break it up. edit: forgot to mention—they found the eyeball in her stomach.”. One night she got all tucked in and forgot to tuck her baby in. Hopefully someday they’ll find a … That was seriously what it seemed his life was like. stories of yesterday soy story mental illness depression it's kind of a funny story psychiatric ward hospital identity mental health 77 notes Nov 29th, 2015 Open in app She was angry he was disrupting her sleep and I couldn't [have been] more thrilled. He threatened to kill me if I made eye contact with him. Don’t fuck with spice.”, “I worked in the dental clinic of a psychiatric hospital for a bit and I’ll never forget a patient named Terry. These creepy true stories from psych ward patients are enough to keep anyone up at … I also think it’s worth noting that before I went to work with brain-damaged patients, my boyfriend rode a motorcycle. I’ve seen a few people recover to a degree but never fully. The resident I was shadowing, asked him what the voices say to him, and he refused to answer that question. He was well behaved and actually really cute. As far as I could tell, he was 100% normal except for the whole mutilation thing.”. I had to end up calling the charge nurse who proceeded to call security. He once ate all the staples out of a stapler before staff noticed what he was doing. We had a kid with a double-whammy of fetal alcohol issues and brain damage from a childhood hit-and-run. The winds have picked up to 40 miles an hour. That has been his entire life. It was like a scene from a horror movie, it went on for a good 20 minutes and I couldn't figure out why the hell the nurses weren't doing their checks and why this kid was still pacing without being found.

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